My Heart & Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga
Pages: 304 pages
Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Realistic Fiction
Publisher: Balzer + Bray, February 2015
A stunning novel about the transformative power of love, perfect for fans of Jay Asher and Laurie Halse Anderson.
Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.
There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution—Roman, a teenage boy who’s haunted by a family tragedy, is looking for a partner. Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together.
Possible triggers for this book includes: depression & suicide.
I picked up this book after a friend recommended it to me, I had read the description before and knew a little bit about what it was about. When I first opened the book, I knew it was one of those books that would stick with me. The writing was just so fluid and beautiful.
“I spend a lot of time wondering what dying feels like. What dying sounds like. If I’ll burst like those notes, let out my last cries of pain, and then go silent forever. Or maybe I’ll turn into a shadowy static that’s barely there, if you just listen hard enough.” page 1
I am definitely not the type to tab my books, but with My Heart & Other Black Holes, there was a quote I wanted to mark on every page. I definitely wrote down so many quotes I wanted to save. The writing was just beautiful.
One thing that surprised me the most about this book was the mood it put me in. The main character is Aysel, and Aysel was depressed. She was plotting her suicide scheme. What surprised me the most is how sad I was when I was reading this book. I felt sad for Aysel, I felt a tinged depressed because of the hopelessness I felt from the characters. I’ve never felt so deeply for the characters before.
I definitely think this book is not an easy read, it is a heavy one. However, the issue of depression and suicide is a very touchy subject that many authors might shy away from. I am very glad Warga wrote this book because it has such an important message to readers out there.
“Depression is like a heaviness that you can’t ever escape. It crushes down on you, making even the smallest things like tying your shoes or chewing on toast seem like a twenty-mile hike uphill. Depression is a part of you; it’s in your bones and blood. If I know anything about it, this is what I know: It’s impossible to escape.” – page 14
This definitely would have been a 5 star read for me if it wasn’t for the ending. Because of the way the majority of the book made me feel so much, I felt the ending was a bit of the flop for me. I think if it was a little less rushed, it would have been perfect.
Overall, I highly recommend this book. If you are interested, definitely check it out. However, please do note the trigger warnings!